Aftermath

    There are a lot of things that you should never mention to someone who is new to the single life. Some of them are obvious, some aren't. And I'm sure they're different to every person. I probably tend to be a little pickier than others, but I think that's okay. Here's some things I haven't appreciated people saying:

#1. Have you been on any dates yet?
    No, no I have not. This is an extremely sensitive area for me right now and I don't need you to try and push me. I'll go on a date when I'm ready.

#2. He just wasn't the one.
    Don't you think I've realized this already? Please don't state the obvious. Unless we're really close, that's the only way this is gonna work.

#3. He wasn't good for you.
    Oh really? So after spending all that time telling me how great we were together now you're telling me that you actually didn't like him? Maybe this should've been mentioned earlier, could've saved me a lot of time.

#4. Anything that has to do with said ex.
    I don't care about his life. I don't want to know anything that happens. If I want to talk about it, I will bring it up. I don't need anyone else to. I'm already trying to forget it all, don't bring up a sore subject.

#5. Have you gained/lost weight?
    Pretty sure this explains itself. But I'm already dealing with a lot of issues, this just offends me in every way possible. 

#6. Karma will get him.
    Yes, I do want him to suffer. But I also really doubt he will. If you can hurt someone that badly, obviously you really didn't care and therefore won't feel bad about it later.

If you find yourself saying these things to someone, stop. There are so many other things you could say. Some of the better things that have been said to me:

#1. I'm sorry
    You're probably saying this because you don't know what else to say, but it is nice.

#2. How is your heart doing?
    Odd question, but it really does mean a lot. It means you understand the pain that I'm dealing with and genuinely care.

#3. Do you want to do something?
   Yea, I probably do. I want to be distracted and not sit at home all day long.

#4. "Two months won't heal four years"
    This is so true. It's not going to. Thank you for understanding that. And thank you for not pushing me.

#5. Talking about your own life.
    I love knowing what else is going on outside my little area. It keeps me in the loop and I promise I'm not going to be offended if you go on a really great date or are getting married or have a new job. Don't purposefully not tell me because you're worried about offending me.

#6. How is work/school going?
    I can talk about work or school for hours (okay, maybe not hours but at least a good 30 minutes). Ask me what I like and don't, what I would do if I could. Maybe don't ask me about my plans for the future though because I'm completely indecisive right now.

So, there's your guide for dealing with someone you care about after a break up. Like I said, some of these things will switch depending on the person but I think you can figure it out.