The Curveball

“I’m not crying because of you; You’re not worth it. I’m crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

    Sometimes, life throws you a curveball. You'll find yourself standing there having no clue what you should even be thinking. The moment when the one person you never thought would hurt you, does. When they do more than just hurt you, they betray you and everything you've worked for.

Sometimes, you have to change your life completely.

     Now, I'm not someone who is super negative and always has a frown on her face. Generally, I'm the exact opposite. But sometimes, life just really sucks. And I'm not someone who lies about things like that.

     After a break up, it's perfectly acceptable to be upset, especially when it's a really bad one. But, it's only okay as long as you don’t lie down and live there. It’s okay to cry and eat the entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s in one sitting.  It's okay to lay on the couch and watch Dirty Dancing or The Notebook or whatever your guilty pleasure movie is and cry your eyes out all day.  But you can't do it forever. Soon you have to get up, take a shower, change your clothes, and make an attempt to move on with your life.

    Eventually, you’ll have the moment when you’re done with it all. For me, it was a two-hour drive home late at night crying, screaming, and hitting the steering wheel. And you know what, I decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. Sure it still hurts, often too. But I know that at some point I’m going to be happy again. I’ll still have bad days for a while; I’m still going to randomly start crying because it feels like too much for one person to handle. But I’m trying, and that’s all that matters.

    Someone close to me keeps reminding me to take things “one step at a time”, and that’s really all it is, one foot in front of the other. Someday soon I will go from trying to be ok for a few hours at a time, to days, to weeks, and finally, I’ll be perfectly happy again. For now, I'm just remembering me.